Far-sighted research programmes like this one are urgently needed in the UK, too. We have our own
vanity inspirational project to power – the super high-speed London to Birmingham rail link. And rows of rather dim low-energy light bulbs.
Americans select dilithium crystals to power next generation
Published by ASPO-USA on Mon, 07/11/2011 – 08:00
Original article: http://www.aspousa.org/index.php/2011/07/americans-select-dilithium-crystals-to-power-next-generation-by-christine-patton/
by Christine Patton
June 18, 2012 — CAMBRIDGE, MASS — In a Gallup poll released today, Americans chose dilithium crystals as the top choice of fuel to run both cars and power plants, with 84% of Americans choosing the crystals over other options including nuclear, hydrogen, corn ethanol, shale gas, and photovoltaic solar panels. Respondents indicate that dilithium crystals are popular for providing quiet, clean energy, with a proven track record including over seven-hundred twenty-six episodes in four different Star Trek television series.
Professor Stephen Palmer, of MIT, reports that dilithium crystals have “literally unlimited potential” for the future of energy. He states, “Based on my research, which includes careful observation of over ten thousand hours of Deep Space Nine and Voyager re-runs, my calculations indicate that dilithium crystals have an infinite capacity for power generation.”
He explains, “The crystals provide power for starship warp drives by channeling electro-plasma released by mutual annihilation caused by extremely high temperatures and electro-magnetic radiation. And since Spock and Scotty solved the problem of gradual decrystalization during their time travel mission to the twenty-third century, all we have to do is harness this energy, and BAM! – we’re pretty much set for the next five thousand years.”
Results from the poll led several U.S. Senators to call for increased funding of NASA, which has languished in recent years due to budget cuts. Anthony Baden (R-NY), said, “According to several popular television shows, dilithium crystals are the fuel of tomorrow. Apparently, our only problem is obtaining the crystals from the planet Rura Penthe in the Klingon Empire. If we can get hold of a warp drive, maybe from the Chinese, we can pop these dilithium puppies in our nuclear plants by the next election cycle.”
When asked about the wisdom of investing $500 billion in a new NASA program during a time of increasing poverty and deep slashes to social programs, Senator Baden replied, “It’s time to get real, people. A couple hundred billion’s not going to break the bank, compared to the potential benefits of this technology. And the money is going to a good cause – namely, the stockholders of Lockheed Martin and Boeing. This is an investment. It’s not like we’re giving it to poor people, who would just waste it on food.”
Although some skeptics called the crystals “unproven technology,” a majority of respondents identified environmentalists, big government, and big oil as the top culprits preventing the United States from transitioning to this low-carbon fuel. Sarah Train, a student in Massachusetts, said, “Permanently free power? Seems like a no-brainer to me. So I’m not really sure why we’re not using the crystals yet, but I’m pretty confident it involves treehuggers or bureaucracy. Maybe both.”
Transition US, a grass-roots sustainability group, called dilithium crystals “science fiction,” instead suggesting that communities re-localize in the face of the energy and financial crises that have plagued the U.S. since 2007. Raven Baker, spokesperson for TUS, says, “Don’t wait for the government or corporations to deliver a miracle fuel at an undetermined time, years in the future. Grow some food. Build low-tech, distributed energy solutions. Conserve. Reorganize cities so travel is less necessary.”
Joe Burns, a plumber in Atlanta, scoffs at these basic recommendations. “Community – please! Show me how I’m going to fill up my SUV’s 40-gallon fuel tank with community. And growing a garden, c’mon…who do they think I am, an immigrant?”
“I need a realistic answer to my problems, and dilithium crystals seem to fit the bill. And if I need to sit on my butt while my government spends half a trillion dollars and thirty years chasing a pipe dream until all other options have evaporated so I can maintain my delusion that radical change is unnecessary… well, I’ve gotten pretty good at that.”
Christine Patton is the Co-Chair of Transition Oklahoma City: http://www.goinglocalokc.org/